Monthly Archives: January 2012

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Oh the pains of being a womyn!!  If you men knew what we go through, you would have sympathy or at least I would hope so.  I woke up with a sharp pain in my lower stomach.  Hmm…I thought, it’s not almost that time of the month.  I wonder if I ate something horrid?

Then it dawned on me, here I am mid-cycle and I am ovulating.  Oh heck!  Really?!  Thank goodness, I can’t get pregos, I am so done with being pregnant.

I have my warm cup of coffee.  It soothes my tummy pain and gives me a sweet jolt.  I begin cleaning up my house.  Then, I all of a sudden feel a “nesting” coming on.  I begin to scrub my floors, I re-arrange my living room and then get up and go to buy a new rug for my living room.

What the heck was all of that about?  I am ovulating and in my animalistic ways, I began nesting, getting my house ready.  Oh joy!!

I woke up with a great attitude.  I felt good, great and energetic desptite my tum pain.  While I was out, I felt good.  It felt good to be out in our Cali-Sun with the wind blowing in my face.

But then, I get home and all of a sudden have a crying spell!!  Really?  Why was I shedding those tears?  I had no particular reason.  But I put it all together.  I am ovulating.

I did some research online and sure enough, apparently these are some symptoms of ovulating.  I never put one-and-one together, but it all makes sense now.

I am so glad that I understand my emotions today and am able to control them.  I laid down for a bit, breathed in and out and closed my eyes and imagined peace.  Thirty minutes later, it passed and here I am sharing my estrogen break down with the world.

It really sucks to be a girl sometimes.  We are wired so differently than men.  Sometimes I trully wish I was a male, but then at the same time, being a girl is fun!

But why oh why do us womyn have to go through all of this emotional crap.  We get emotional during PMS, we get emotional while being pregnant, we get emotional on sad movies.  Really?!??  Why did we get created as such!  I DO NOT LIKE IT, ONE BIT!~  OH, let me repeat myself if you did not here me the first time, I DO NOT, I DO NOT, I DO NOT LIKE IT ONE INCH OF A BIT~

Okay, vent over.

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Happy.New.Year.

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It is a new year. New beginnings.  A new start.

BUT IS IT REALLY?

I come to the end of every year in the same situation and I feel like a lot of people do as well.

Here comes December and we are all grateful for the year to end.

We say bye to all of our regrets, hatred, and negative feelings.

We say bye to all of our baggage.

But why can’t we do it any other time?  It baffles me.

I am always trying to become a better person regardless if it is the end of the year or not.

But, it is our imaginative world that let’s us believe that beginning January 1st, we can be cleansed of all faults.

I cleansed.  I used my imaginative world and went with the flow.

I said good-bye to all who have hurt me and luckily that was taken care of before December.

I said good-bye to my ways of over eating and indulging in delicious chocolates.  Oh how I will miss you.

I said good-bye to  impatience and hello to that thing called PATIENCE.

2011 was not the best year for me, but it was not the worst.

In 2011 I welcomed:

  • My Maya Star who is now 7 months old
  • My sunshine who is still in my life with full vengeance
  • A pre-pre teen.  My 9-year-old who had overstepped her childish ways
  • A more powerful stance in life:  taking on two children as a single mother

And I have to say, those are the things that have made me a stronger and better person today.  Now, did it take me a new year to make these changes and outlooks on life?  No.  Like I said, I work on myself daily.  But in some weird, mystical way, January 1st always seems to officially take them away.

  • As I overcame a lot of stress and mishaps in 2011, I feel like I have climbed over that mountain, I reached the top.  Being at the top of the mountain was the hardest, but I took one breath at a time.  I took one step at a time.  One blink at a time.  And guess what?  I overcame it.  I laid in the hospital bed alone.  I did not have him there.  The father of my baby did not want to have anything to do with me or the baby.  I thought at the moment, how was I going to get through it.  I did it!  It is the proudest moment of my life.  I always tell people, I am not a “women” because there is no “man” in my life to help me, but I am a “womyn” because I can do it by myself.  And at the top of the mountain, it actually felt good.  I brought life into this world rather than diminish it.  I have become on overall stronger person because of my situation.

And I am now on the other side of the mountain.  2012 is strong, hopeful and most importantly lovely.

I smile when I wake up.

I laugh when I see my daughters laugh.

I blink and don’t have to blink again because today, right now, 2012 is a blessing.

Happy  New Year to me. Happy New Year to You.  And Happy New Year to New Beginnings.

Cheers.