He left our physical world ten years ago like a thief in the night; it is never the same. He chose to play the dice game of life and death, slowly taking his own life. Shattered teeth swallowed unto his stomach, bleeding, burning as its mixed with gasoline. He drank every drip until it was gone. Until he was gone……
I fought the demons within me to keep the screams from shattering out to pierce the falling glass. Glass that breaks into tiny pieces of sand. Whisking your hands through the soft sand as if at the beach on a sunny day. But there is nothing sunny about broken pieces of glass. Each piece of glass shattered my heart not because you left, but because you allowed your demons to win! Although I knew your pain, I know your pain, I still want to throw the broken pieces of glass onto the demons, so you could have been given a chance! A chance that was depleted and I was left, we were left with clenched hearts allowing the drips of blood you created, blood that dripped until it was dripless…
I want to sleep till the morning sun kisses my eyes. I want to awaken to the soothing sounds of birds singing.
I want to lay on a white cloud and sway away where I feel calm and peace from within. I want the rain to wipe away all my tears.
I want to swim in a bed of water and float to nowhere Land while dolphins and whales are my friends.
I just want to be me,
In this hectic world……
I’m a bit lost right now,
Not lost, lost,
Lost in the woods
With the foggy air,
Air I care not to breath in,
Air that I want to breath in and throw back into the sky is far from my eyes,
If you see me walking with a scanty smile on my face, it is a smile, that yes, I got through another day of this fog!
Another day of lies, of poison, almost at the death of my own life, I have poked my nose above dirty ground to taste his smell.
Foggy mornings that hurt to awaken,
Foggy tears rolling down instead of screaming at the world!
Foggy eyes that can’t think straight,
Drunk off life’s chemicals,
Breathing in poison!
Drinking in poison!
Living in poison!
Talking in poison!
Fucking in poison!
Seeing in all this damn poison!
Our lives are a big poison fest,
A fest full of free drugs to kill us,
Free water to sink us!
Wake up…wake up people!
Treason! Treason! Treason!
Treason is this fucken-fog,
Fuck you for not giving me a choice of the type of air I shall breath!
This forest of chemicals will kill each one of us. We need to stand up and fight this damn demon!
Those demon eyes that kill us
Every fucken day we awaken….
We have been torn apart because of
You see my dear,
One day, you and I were born
With innocent eyes to see,
Innocent ears to hear,
There was a spark and magical connection between the stars and I,
We began our journey as helpless souls that were guided by our ancestorals roles.
Then society took over!
They have made us believe that our beautiful eyes are not pretty enough
This is when F-E-A-R took over….