Tag Archives: birthday

Another day older….

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Another day older…another year wiser. This is my reality.  I never would have ever imagined getting to be 41 years old. This number had been so foreign to my young mind. 

Now that I’m here, it’s all that it’s pumped up to be. Yes, I’ve hit that mark where I can care less about my birthday. 

Why? For one, I have young kids. And they come first. My joy is their joy. It’s not that I don’t matter anymore, but my essence is them!

As much as I cringe at this 40-something age, I have no choice, but to embrace it. I know I am welcoming wrinkles, grey hair and lower energy levels, but with it comes an increase of awareness of life. I feel great having the wisdom I did not have in my 20s and 30s. It is a beautiful nuisance, but I prefer it over my young feeble minded self. 

I can embrace the beauty of innocence. My innocent children will never know the mental struggles I went through when I was young. And that brings me happiness. The beauty they see brings me happiness. 

That is all that matters when it becomes another day older, another day wiser. 

-camistar.com

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The Unknown

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Today is a very SPECIAL DAY.

One year ago, I laid on my couch.

I sat, enjoying the cool breeze brisking into my living room.

I looked around my cottage and saw nothing but stillness.

The stillness held a future that was unknown.

The unknown is scary, yet beautiful at the same time.

Today is a very SPECIAL DAY.

I felt that punch.

It felt stronger, stronger, and stronger.

Was it happening?

I laid, looking around, looking at the universe.

I wondered.

Is it time?

I was scared.

I did not know what my future what hold.

I breathed.

I shed a tear.

I longed for him to do this with me,

He was gone!

He did not want anything to do with it.

Punch. Kick. Scream.

More. More. More.

It was time!

I had to go.

I was alone.

The universe had a plan for me and I went with it.

I got there.

I was safe.

She was coming.

I was scared.

I breathed.

I knew it would all be okay.

I went under.

Under the knife.

Numbness.

Fear.

What is to come?

She arrived!

The unknown!

Here it is!

I heard her.

A roar of a cry was expelled.

It sounded like a wounded cat,

But she was alive.

I was alive.

I did it.

I saw her.

I smiled.

I cried tears of joy.

She was beautiful!

Blonde Hair.

Brown Eyes.

Cries.

And my journey began with the most beautiful baby in June 2011.

Maya Star and that is who you are!

Happy Birthday to my cupcake!

We made it to one year and I know all the years to come will be nothing, but joy.