Tag Archives: Hurt

Unforsaken Words….

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Once you hear the…

Unforsaken
Dreaded
Unwanted
Unforbidden
Squiggly letters that fly together, creating the horrid sentence of:

“I don’t think I can l-o-v-e”

Believe
Run
Hold your breath
Scream if you must

But believe. Be that little child that believes in the magical world of fairies. Twinkling stars in a flying night.

Believe.

And run. Run far away or the twinkling lights of your night will dim your soul as this is truth.

, “I don’t think I can love”

Respect Yourself

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I constantly read poems on how one would keep going back to their lovers even after their heart was broken. All for one more kiss. One more hug. One more chance. Fuck that. You break my heart and you’re screwed. I will keep going forward and never look back.

Like the typical saying goes (with my twist). Hurt me once, shame on YOU, Hurt me twice, shame on ME, Hurt me a third time, it’s my damn fault for even allowing a third and now my heart is cold as ice.

It’s all about respecting yourself. Respect yourself enough to not allow another human being to hurt you.

👊

High Tide

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My heart feels the pain of a million needles poking right through me,
To hurt is the worst feeling in the world,
Its drowning in the deep depths of the ocean, instead of grasping for air, I am grasping for you.

Grasping for an ideal of who I thought you were. Who I thought we were. Who I thought would swim with me all the way to breathing air.

Three years of patiently awaiting for the waves to settle down, instead it stayed high waved and never felt like playing. Obeying the peace that comes with the shore, how long can you stand the high tides of the sky?

I must swim away as I want shores peace, while swimming to my place, I have to succumb to piercing pain until it subsides…..

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A Moment of Pain….

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I lay in physical pain, wanting to get up,
wanting to run and dance in the rain,
That night was a blast,
but its brought me to my dark past.

In my dark past,

I brought life, to a beauty!
Golden hair, creamed colored when bare.
She brings me joy, laughter and love.
But when I was alone, it was all despair.

The maker ran away,
The fear of, WHO KNOWS WHAT?
I took the ante and went with it, SO WHAT?
Nine months of fear of what was NEAR!
I CAN DO THIS! NOTHING TO FEAR!

Time went to fast,
as it is all just a blur,

This was my CHOICE!

The punches I felt, inside and out,
She was ready to show,
To show this world, what I am all about!
Strongness will lead me, I SHALL DEFEAT!
I am a WARRIOR, INSIDE AND OUT!

She arrived with joy in my eyes,
but I was left alone, the maker has not shone!
I can do this! I will! I can be!
The best women left alone,
But the pain in this heart,
shall subside!

Sewn up, laying in bed,
She’s tearing up and
I cannot even get up,
because I feel like I’m dead!

All alone, alone in my bed,
Don’t feel sorry for yourself,
You are much more than THAT!

I am fighting the physical pain,
Pills popped in, Yeah, I was feeling pretty numb!
But I love her so much,
But I ask, “what have I done?”,
All night, with no one in sight.

I am used to this,
Used to this, my whole life,
Alone, whether there are people around or not.
But, it’s okay, I have nothing to hide!

I arrived home, pained to move an inch,
All alone, I wonder, “how did I cope”?
One pill, two pill, three!
No more physical pain, and my EMOTIONS ARE FREE!

Here I lay, three years later,
back to that pain!
I guess I did not heal, because it is beginning to rain!
Physically it hurt, but I will survive,
Aloneness, I can do this,
I just want to run and hide!

I want to hide in a rock,
a rock that will take all pain away,
But here I lay, raw!
Raw to the bone,

I am raw in flesh and in soul,
feeling alone, while trying NOT to fall!

GET UP CAMI! GET UP NOW!
NO ONE will take care of YOU!
Except YOU and YOU ALONE!

I shall heal from this physical pain,
But today, the Band-Aid fell off
And I just need to PRAY!

Pray to my God for peace to “BE”,
Pray to my God, to release all pain,
Pray to my God, that as I share,
you will take it all away!!

**This was written in June 2014.  Five months have passed since this moment in time.  That is all it was.  A “moment in time”.
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Run as Fast as you CAN…..

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We have all been down that road, we don’t want to be on

It’s like a jungle of a mess

You can see the light, you can see the sea, but your stuck

STUCK, STUCK, STUCK!

Your not literally, stuck!

all you have to do is walk

But walking HURTS

My legs hurt

My feet hurt

But we have to keep walking

KEEP WALKING, KEEP WALKING, KEEP WALKING!

Nothing feels worse than being tied up by that rope

It strangles you

It  holds you down

Yet, the rope is emotionless

It has no idea how much pain it is putting you through

You know this

You can’t get mad at it

You can’t strangle it

All you can do is run

RUN. RUN. RUN.

Run!

Stomp!

Run as fast as you can!

Yet, you put your own self in this jungle

You could have ran away a long time ago

You could be in clear field right now

But like all challenging things, there was always a good moment

A moment where you and that crazy rope had laughs

A moment when both of you were swinging high in the sky

But it’s all gone

Your strangled

You just have to run

It hurts

Some may feel physical pain

The pain of a body part pulsating

It physically hurts

Others may feel soulful pain

It will heal

You just have to run and overcome

You lied Mr. Rope

You are a liar

You are not as pure of  you think

Your strangling me

I hurt

Your fine

I need to….

RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN!