Tag Archives: life. love. spirituality. awakening. the heart.

Another Year….

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Another year to depart from and say good-bye to, it was fun, it was sad and it was happy! A new year to embark on to renew yourself, to say bye to the old and hello to the new. Are you ready? Are YOU ready? I can’t hear you!! ARE YOU READY!!!!!????? (“ahem” as I clear my thought)

I am READY! LET’S DO THIS! I love new beginnings, it is an ability to begin anew, it’s a fresh start. A new year usually gets us to think, “how can I better myself?” Many create “resolutions” to help them improve their lives, whether it be physically, emotionally or spirtitually. I on the other hand, always strive to better myself, but not with “resolutions”. Years ago, I did create “resolutions”, I lived on that band wagon for a very long time, but I always failed, gave up and then life went on. It’s like, what’s the point? As I’ve moved on to bigger and better things (in my own view), I have ditched what is called “resolutions”! Instead I live a life of what I call a learning curve, a chance to redeem myself, a life of what is meant to be. What I didn’t learn or accomplish last year will be a goal for the upcoming year.

My new year thoughts and wishes are to strive and be one with reality in order to better myself as I climb my life of stairs. Did you read that word….”reality”! REALITY! Living in reality is something all humans need to work on. We do NOT live in yesterday’s mistakes, although our past does open up our minds! We do not live in tomorrow, which is unreachable. BUT, we are alive right here and right now. I’m not going to dig into our current earth, climate and political issues, but those who are reading this, are fully aware of them. We need to stay in today, stay in reality, stay on what is going on now in order to move forward. Enough said.

Do we always climb upwards and never fall or in a real sense fail? Of course not, we are only human. Luckily, we are born covered with thick skin to protect our inner parts. We get scraped, burned and maybe break a bone or two, but do we heal? We always do! You know the saying, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonaide!” This is my motto in life~ I live to make do with what I have, to make do with the current road I am on, I just do it and await for the next page. We can only make our own selves happy right? So, I just do it!

My life is like riding a super long escalator, which is my road to enlightment. We will always climb upwards, but it’s up to you, it’s up to me to keep climbing! Are you ready to climb? Are you ready to get to the next level? I hope so because I love climbing. I have happily come to a point in my life where I can care less about a daily stress or weekly struggle because I know that at the end of the day, it is a learning experience and I can only go up! I have chosen to no longer go down at this point in my life, I’ve been there, done that!

This is exactly why I look forward to new beginnings! I look forward to new chapters, most importantly, I look foward to riding my escalator that is traveling up, “to infinity and beyyyyoooond” as the infamous Buzz Lightyear would say. ……

Does the escalator take us all to the next level of life? Unfortunately, the answer is no and I will fully say I know this from experience! We go up, we stop, we go down and we may fail. I’m sure you know a soul or two who do not seem to grow spiritually or mentally at ALL. Our best intentions is to “want” to help them or slap some sense into them, but at one point or another, we come to the realization that our wanting to help has nothing to do with helping them! When you have moved past the ugly and toxins in our lives, it is so much easier to climb up, but not everyone is “there”. We may think it is easy to get enlightened, but when your down and full of regrets, toxins and maybe even addiction, it may seem IMPOSSIBLE to step onto that esalator.

So, what happens to these souls? The souls we long to help? Nothing. Exactly nothing. Nada. And it is sad to say that we cannot do anything about it. I mean, yeah, we can reah out and attempt to lead them to the light. We can provide our love and compassion, but really, at the end of the day, they must make the choice to heal and to step forward.

Those who are stuck, may stay on their level for years, decades or maybe until their last breath. They will stay where they are until they are ready to move forward, until they are ready to see the truth, until they are ready to open up their weaknesses and let go. We cannot do anything for them (sadly), we cannot force them on the escalator (unfortunately), they must move forward on their own (although I wish it were that easy). They always have the ability to get on the escalator, it never leaves. Ever! When you go to the mall, do you ever see the escaltor move? NO, NEVER! This is the same in our lives, our life escalator never moves, it’s impossible. Remember, always remember that regardless of where you are in life, you always have the choice and chance to get on that escalator to help you move up in your life. Take a chance, make a choice!

Once again, this is why I love new beginnings, which today, I speak on behalf of our upcoming New Year. No matter what has happened yesterday, a year ago or even 20 years ago, you can never go back to that moment, all you can do is go foward. Isn’t that a beautiful reality? I think so!

As the years in my life keep coming up and moving forward over and over again, I have discovered that I have a love-dislike relationship with them! I’m sorry “time”, but I have to be honest with you in order to be honest with myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love riding my escalator each year, it’s fun! I’m like a child in the sense that I get excited as my right foot steps on my escalator with a happy and a giddy feeling of the unknown. What will be upstairs? Will it be a huge candy land that will fill me up with joy? A pink cloud filled with purple unicorns? All of my hopes and dreams ready to engulf me? My innocent self wants to say “yes, yes and yes!”

Unfortunately, my life is not always sugar and spice, but at the end of the day or year in this matter all twists and turns are teachable moments. Each step I’ve taken turns into beauty and this is only because I’m able to let go and let God (a crucial part of letting go of toxins).

As one continues to grow mentally and spiritually each year, our age and bodies age as well, which is the part of my “dislike” of each year passing (who doesnt, right?) But it’s all okay when one has the right mind set. Personally, I’d rather age gracefully as I continue to grow to a higher level of consciousnesses than be stuck in a beautiful body with a depleted sense of self.

And back to….another year shall pass. 2020…wow! As a kid who grew up in the 80s, as a teen in the 90s, the year 2020 seemed unreachable. It sounded so futuristic! Even the thought that I’d be in my early 40s was unheard of in my youth.

I clearly remember graduating college in “2000”, that was my overall goal. I didn’t want 1999 or 2001, I wanted to be the graduate of “2000” since it was sooooo “millenial” back then. Now, it’s just a joke in my head. It was just another year that came right after 1999. In reality, the year 2020, still appeared unreachable, a number that was soooo far away. And we are here, here I am, here you are. It will be another year, another decade, another wrinkle, another unicorn sparkle and another age. I am alive. You are alive because you are reading this. In my deepst darkness moments in life, who would never have imagined how beautiful life can be. If you would have asked me where I’d be in 2020 in the year 2000, I would have laughed at the thought of where I am today. This is life folks, this is a young 40ish female sharing this with you! We have goals and ambitions, if we keep going forward, we will get there, YOU will get there! Life is awesome!

So, onto to the new and out with the old. Happy New Year. Cheers to 2020! I hope all your life goals are made a reality!

Namaste,

Camille, aka #camistar

Thoughts of you.

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I sit and think of you,

Where are you, you fool?

The love I had for you was so true.

I never gave you my heart,

Somehow, it leaked out.

Thoughts of you always shine,

The times we had, will forever be mine.

It used to hurt so bad,

Of course, I was always sad.

Years have gone by and I still wonder why?

But that’s a good thing,

Because you never had to try.

You were my heaven,

I was your soul .

Until next time,

There will always be that hole……

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The Spirits have Awoken

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Sunday, November 13th 2011

It is a beautiful day outside. The lovely wind is blowing in my hair. The sun is shining on my face. I love today and no one can it away. Today, I realize that I have surpased the crack I have been stuck in. I have found a way around it. Damn, those cracks on our paths that get in our way. Our paths can be so smooth, but from our shaking universe, we get stuck sometimes. The funny thing is that most of the time, we dont’ even know we are stuck in a crack. We just go with life. We wake up and do our daily thing, come home, go to sleep and start another day without really thinking about where we are. We are stuck, but then we breath, we realize, we have to breath. We breath in the world and realize, we are stuck. We have to get out to keep going on our path. There are so many beautiful things that will arise, but we have to get out and keep going.

I took a deep breath and I smelled the beauty of today. I realized my foot was stuck in a crack. I breathed in and saw a yellow sun. I breathed in and saw a shining star. I breathed in and decided to get out of the damn crack and run. I am running. I am running like I am being chased from a coyote. I am running like I am on the beach, running towards heaven. I am running to happiness.

I can smell the freshness of the world. I can smell the beauty of today, tomorrow and my new found smile.

The negative world, get out of my way. I don’t need you, nor do I want you next to me or my kin. I see you. I don’t want you. I’ve been with you. Good bye.

To the Spirits of love,
I await you like a bird awaits its worm,

To the Sprits of Friendship,
You come to me as if we are a universal bond

To the Spirits of my Kin
You have been given to me and I await the blossoming of your beauty

To the Spirits of Air,
I breath you in like I really care

To the Spirits of you,
You are beautiful inside and out,
If you cannot see that, I do not care.

To the Spritis of you,
You are one of a kind,
If you do not like that, I do not care.

To the Spirits of you,
You are whole, don’t ever let go of that.

To the Spritis of you,
You have been chosen to love. To love like you care.
To love like its your passion.

To the Spirits of you,
Go with your road. It’s powerful.
You will turn the page and everyday will be love….

To the Spirits of you,
There is no going back.
Oh no, there is no going back……………………