Tag Archives: love

Life is….

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Life is a blink of an eye

Layers of fun. 

Scabs of triumphs.

Life speeds through beauty, pausing through pain.

Life ticks by seconds and tocks through years.

Life is immortal.

My love for you is mortal.

#mylife #mygirls

Another Year….

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Another year to depart from and say good-bye to, it was fun, it was sad and it was happy! A new year to embark on to renew yourself, to say bye to the old and hello to the new. Are you ready? Are YOU ready? I can’t hear you!! ARE YOU READY!!!!!????? (“ahem” as I clear my thought)

I am READY! LET’S DO THIS! I love new beginnings, it is an ability to begin anew, it’s a fresh start. A new year usually gets us to think, “how can I better myself?” Many create “resolutions” to help them improve their lives, whether it be physically, emotionally or spirtitually. I on the other hand, always strive to better myself, but not with “resolutions”. Years ago, I did create “resolutions”, I lived on that band wagon for a very long time, but I always failed, gave up and then life went on. It’s like, what’s the point? As I’ve moved on to bigger and better things (in my own view), I have ditched what is called “resolutions”! Instead I live a life of what I call a learning curve, a chance to redeem myself, a life of what is meant to be. What I didn’t learn or accomplish last year will be a goal for the upcoming year.

My new year thoughts and wishes are to strive and be one with reality in order to better myself as I climb my life of stairs. Did you read that word….”reality”! REALITY! Living in reality is something all humans need to work on. We do NOT live in yesterday’s mistakes, although our past does open up our minds! We do not live in tomorrow, which is unreachable. BUT, we are alive right here and right now. I’m not going to dig into our current earth, climate and political issues, but those who are reading this, are fully aware of them. We need to stay in today, stay in reality, stay on what is going on now in order to move forward. Enough said.

Do we always climb upwards and never fall or in a real sense fail? Of course not, we are only human. Luckily, we are born covered with thick skin to protect our inner parts. We get scraped, burned and maybe break a bone or two, but do we heal? We always do! You know the saying, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonaide!” This is my motto in life~ I live to make do with what I have, to make do with the current road I am on, I just do it and await for the next page. We can only make our own selves happy right? So, I just do it!

My life is like riding a super long escalator, which is my road to enlightment. We will always climb upwards, but it’s up to you, it’s up to me to keep climbing! Are you ready to climb? Are you ready to get to the next level? I hope so because I love climbing. I have happily come to a point in my life where I can care less about a daily stress or weekly struggle because I know that at the end of the day, it is a learning experience and I can only go up! I have chosen to no longer go down at this point in my life, I’ve been there, done that!

This is exactly why I look forward to new beginnings! I look forward to new chapters, most importantly, I look foward to riding my escalator that is traveling up, “to infinity and beyyyyoooond” as the infamous Buzz Lightyear would say. ……

Does the escalator take us all to the next level of life? Unfortunately, the answer is no and I will fully say I know this from experience! We go up, we stop, we go down and we may fail. I’m sure you know a soul or two who do not seem to grow spiritually or mentally at ALL. Our best intentions is to “want” to help them or slap some sense into them, but at one point or another, we come to the realization that our wanting to help has nothing to do with helping them! When you have moved past the ugly and toxins in our lives, it is so much easier to climb up, but not everyone is “there”. We may think it is easy to get enlightened, but when your down and full of regrets, toxins and maybe even addiction, it may seem IMPOSSIBLE to step onto that esalator.

So, what happens to these souls? The souls we long to help? Nothing. Exactly nothing. Nada. And it is sad to say that we cannot do anything about it. I mean, yeah, we can reah out and attempt to lead them to the light. We can provide our love and compassion, but really, at the end of the day, they must make the choice to heal and to step forward.

Those who are stuck, may stay on their level for years, decades or maybe until their last breath. They will stay where they are until they are ready to move forward, until they are ready to see the truth, until they are ready to open up their weaknesses and let go. We cannot do anything for them (sadly), we cannot force them on the escalator (unfortunately), they must move forward on their own (although I wish it were that easy). They always have the ability to get on the escalator, it never leaves. Ever! When you go to the mall, do you ever see the escaltor move? NO, NEVER! This is the same in our lives, our life escalator never moves, it’s impossible. Remember, always remember that regardless of where you are in life, you always have the choice and chance to get on that escalator to help you move up in your life. Take a chance, make a choice!

Once again, this is why I love new beginnings, which today, I speak on behalf of our upcoming New Year. No matter what has happened yesterday, a year ago or even 20 years ago, you can never go back to that moment, all you can do is go foward. Isn’t that a beautiful reality? I think so!

As the years in my life keep coming up and moving forward over and over again, I have discovered that I have a love-dislike relationship with them! I’m sorry “time”, but I have to be honest with you in order to be honest with myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love riding my escalator each year, it’s fun! I’m like a child in the sense that I get excited as my right foot steps on my escalator with a happy and a giddy feeling of the unknown. What will be upstairs? Will it be a huge candy land that will fill me up with joy? A pink cloud filled with purple unicorns? All of my hopes and dreams ready to engulf me? My innocent self wants to say “yes, yes and yes!”

Unfortunately, my life is not always sugar and spice, but at the end of the day or year in this matter all twists and turns are teachable moments. Each step I’ve taken turns into beauty and this is only because I’m able to let go and let God (a crucial part of letting go of toxins).

As one continues to grow mentally and spiritually each year, our age and bodies age as well, which is the part of my “dislike” of each year passing (who doesnt, right?) But it’s all okay when one has the right mind set. Personally, I’d rather age gracefully as I continue to grow to a higher level of consciousnesses than be stuck in a beautiful body with a depleted sense of self.

And back to….another year shall pass. 2020…wow! As a kid who grew up in the 80s, as a teen in the 90s, the year 2020 seemed unreachable. It sounded so futuristic! Even the thought that I’d be in my early 40s was unheard of in my youth.

I clearly remember graduating college in “2000”, that was my overall goal. I didn’t want 1999 or 2001, I wanted to be the graduate of “2000” since it was sooooo “millenial” back then. Now, it’s just a joke in my head. It was just another year that came right after 1999. In reality, the year 2020, still appeared unreachable, a number that was soooo far away. And we are here, here I am, here you are. It will be another year, another decade, another wrinkle, another unicorn sparkle and another age. I am alive. You are alive because you are reading this. In my deepst darkness moments in life, who would never have imagined how beautiful life can be. If you would have asked me where I’d be in 2020 in the year 2000, I would have laughed at the thought of where I am today. This is life folks, this is a young 40ish female sharing this with you! We have goals and ambitions, if we keep going forward, we will get there, YOU will get there! Life is awesome!

So, onto to the new and out with the old. Happy New Year. Cheers to 2020! I hope all your life goals are made a reality!

Namaste,

Camille, aka #camistar

Everyday Mother

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Every one has a mother. She could be biological or mythological. She could a Tia or Tio. Mothers are in crevices, shelves and dirty alley’s. They are watching, talking and looking out for you.

A mother is one who loves unconditionally, fearless, a super human. She sucks in your pain for your happiness. She will exchange your pain for your freedom.

You could have been left on a doorstep, but a mother picked you up. You could have fallen to the point of no return, but a mother picked you up.

She is your mentor, teacher, nurse, doctor, neighbor, grandmother. She is not just your soul, but she is your essence.

Thank her, he or shim for that one mother figure who has mended your jeans, she has soothed your heart and she has given you the last bite.

Mothers day is everyday. Every second your heart beats, she is there. She, he or shim is your lifeline. Your guardian angel.

Happy Mothers day to all the beautiful women who have sacrificed their baby skin for stretch marks,

Happy Mothers day to the women who have endured unjustifiable pain to bring you into our universe,

Happy Mothers day to the men and women who do it alone! Who wake up at dawn only to hear whines and complaints,

Happy Mothers Day ❤

-Cami*Star 2019

When life is down….

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When life is down….

When life brings you down, turn to what works for you! I have my own ways, but today I share what can or what will or what shall work when things get tough! All I can say is, whatever your beliefs are, you should empower what can work for you! It can be gardening to be with one with Mother Earth. It can be praising Jesus in song or in prayer! It can be in meditation. At the end of the day, whatever works for YOU is all that matters.

I have been beyond blessed to be led by my savior! By my Lord! He or She or It has never failed me! I am writing as a believer that big things can and will happen when you give up your worries and stress to your higher power(s)!

Amazing Grace sings or speaks of being lost. I do have to say that I’m not lost, I’ve been graciously awakened many, many years ago. But, all Christian songs always bring a beautiful light into my soul. Does it mean I’m some Christian phenatic? Nope. It means that I welcome anything, anybody and/or any situation into my life that will or can take me to the next vibration in life! I am a mix of culture, beliefs and religious. Why? At the end of the day, when we have been blessed to live a beautiful life and it’s our time to perish, where will we all go? Well, that depends on your beliefs, but in my world, we all go to another realm, which I call heaven.

Another one of my faves is, “I surrender”. Surrendering is giving “it” to a higher power. Surrendering is to give “it” or to submit to a higher power you believe in! Regardless of what your belief is, even if you’re agnostic, releasing a negative feeling and/or thought or feeling is beyond refreshing. It is the most beautiful release that is explainable. Surrender.

I’m far from the type of person who will push my beliefs on anyone. Instead, I empower each and every one of you to find your solace. To do find your truth.

At the end of our lives who will you end up with?

You.

Your soul.

All the actions you took or didn’t take will be within your soul.

Please share what works for you. …..

Thanksgiving

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As Americanos, we have been celebrating the day of thanks or what we call “Thanksgiving”.  This day means so much more than what the media portrays it as, but I’m sure you already know that false lie.

“Thanksgiving” is not about Pilgrims and Natives coming together to unite.  That whole ideal has been thrown out into the trash as we awakened to realize what really happened.

“Thanksgiving” is not about Black Friday and all the deals you are looking forward too.  That is consumerism at its best!

“Thanksgiving” is a day of giving thanks to all that we have.  It is being grateful for the little things such as your child’s laugh and their silly frustrations.  It is being thankful for your health and a simple smile shone your way.

Below are ten reasons why I live, why I love and why I continue to thrive……

  1.  My 16 year old who is intelligent, an Anime nerd and my witty daughter.  She is my first born and awakened me to what love truly is.   When I look back at the days when she was born, I was so young yet I matured once she entered my world.  She has taught me internal patience and unconditional love.  I have 16 years of beautiful memories that can never be replaced!
  2. My 7 year old who is funny, intelligent and motivated to learn!  She has taught me to live free and how to enjoy the little things in life.  I was much older when she came into my life and it was a bit of a struggle, but I overcame my struggles and it made me a stronger female.  She is the light of the family that can bring my stress down in a second!
  3. My husband. Being married is a fairy tale mixed with reality.  He is my other half and I’m so grateful for all that he does for my daughters and I.  He has taught me that no matter what happens, he is my forever and who can not be grateful for that?!
  4. My Mother.  She is a fighter!  She has fought against addiction, cancer and other health problems.  She continues to keep going, which I’m so grateful for! I have so many beautiful memories of her helping mold me as a child!
  5. My Brother.  He has been such a help to me as I was a single mother and even now as I’m married.  How can I not be grateful for him, when he helps watch my little one (his youngest niece)! He even helps clean my house while he awaits to pick up the little one. At the end of the day, I’m grateful that he is probably one of the only souls who knows the true me.
  6. My Father.  He is smiling down from heaven and has left his legacy of his intelligence, his wit and his love of great music!  Although he struggled with addiction, he never lost the love he had for his children!  His hand and his heart was always open and he was always there for me whether it was to pay for college or just a much needed hug!
  7. My career.  I love, love, love teaching and I cannot say how thankful I am for having the ability to do what I do.  Some people live their lives working miserably.  Some work hard for years and years only to make pennies.  I have been blessed to have everything wrapped into my career!  I can only thank my internal will to get through college.  At times, I wonder how the heck I did it, but I did and I loved every moment of it.  College was honestly one of the best experiences of my life.  I grew internally and learned so much during those years.  It made me happy to see how proud it made my Dad while I went through college.  And it obviously all paid off!
  8.  My God.  There are many, many people who understands who and what “God” is all about.  I am grateful that I have always had a relationship with my God and he/she has always been by my side.  If you have a true relationship with your God, you understand and comprehend that love.  I can share a few stories with you where I put all my faith in God when I had nothing physically or emotionally and I’ve ALWAYS, ALWAYS, been taken care of!  There are not enough thank you’s for my beautiful God!
  9. My Grandma Moralez. She was such a great Grandmother.  She loved all of her grandchildren, but I truly feel we had a special relationship due to my particular teen upbringing.  She took me in, she guided me, she was patient, she was funny, loving and a great cook!  I love her so much that it truly still hurts that she departed to heaven.  I’m beyond grateful for her for stepping up and helping me through my high school years.  She taught me how to cook, clean and most importantly, how to live a life with morals and how to give all negativity to God.
  10. Last, but not least, I’m ever so grateful for each student and school/teacher friends who have come and gone throughout my life!  I began teaching as a young adult whilst learning who I was.  I’ve grown into the person I am because of all those little and big students.  Each one of them has taught me something even when it was nothing.  Not only that, but there have been so many positive people I’ve met who stamped their knowledge onto my soul.  I have a few of my school/teacher friends who I still talk to and have become life friends with!  A few of my high school adult students still keep in contact with me.  Now, that is gratefulness at its finest!

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A fairy Tale As Silly as it May Be

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A fairy Tale
As silly as it may be.

In the Spring of the light,
Many centuries ago,
HER petals fell as
rain bent HER crown,

Darkened skies,
Lightning bolts,
Wilted petals in need
of a bright sky,

A Fairy Tale as silly
as it may be,
Was creeping upon
HER smoltering
deep dark skies,
~~~~~~~~~~~
One Wintery night,
Many years ago,
HIS twigs began to
freeze as icicles
froze HIS crown,

Gray’ish skies,
Bolts of hail,
Crackened twigs in
need of a light sky,

A Fairy Tale as silly
as it may be,
Was creeping upon
HIS smoltering
deep dark skies,
~~~~~~~~~~~
*Two
worlds
collide
into
one*

He drenched her petals,
She mended his twigs,
As
they
intertwined
with
one
another,

A Fairy Tale as
Silly as it may be.

You and Me.

@camistar.com

Raw Love

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Love is raw, deep and full of

aspirations…..

 

Love at the bottom of the barrel is raw

It is beauty and the beast mixed into one

It is heaven and hell at the same time

 

Love is not butterflies in your stomach

it is not googly eyes on your mate

it is not apple and spice and everything nice!

 

Love at the bottom of the barrel is deep

it is a mix of good with the bad

it is calm with a touch of intense

 

Love is not an act of neediness

it is not jealousy and fear

it is not neediness or helplessness

 

Love at the bottom of the barrel are aspirations

it is a pen to paper of goals

it is a cloud full of dreams

 

Love is not what you think of love

Love is a 24-hour job you hate to love

Love is raw, deep and full of

aspirations…..