Tag Archives: relationships

The end…



Honestly, this is usually what a relationship comprises of when it gets to the end. When your mind starts to go back and forth on what you want, that means its time to flee. Everything has a beginning and an end. Yes, it can be upsetting and sting a bit, but we have to accept it. When we don’t accept the end of a relationship, this is when it can become toxic.

Random Marriage Thoughts


Really Billy?
You are going to sit there and tell me how much of a “man” you are, when you won’t give a women a chance!
A chance to get to know you!
A chance to kiss you!
A chance to make love to you!
You let me go because I do not see “marriage” as an option in my life?
What is marriage, but a piece of paper and legal rights?
Do you know what a real “man” is to me?
A man is patient
A man will date you slowly, passionately and joyfully to see if both people in the relationship want to take it a step further.
A man will kiss you like the world will end tomorrow.
A man will only think of marriage if it is a good fit.
You cannot meet someone one day and if they say they don’t want marriage, you toss them away!
Life does not work that way.
You take a leap,
You take a chance,
If it works great,
If it doesn’t, that’s okay too. It just means, they weren’t meant for you.

Men are DOGS


Well, well, well.  I got your attention.  What do you know!  Well, what I know, is that in our fumbling of a society, we tend to call each gender names.  Why?  Because both genders; male and female are two completely beings.  We have different agendas when it comes to our lives sexually, emotionally, and in relationships.  

Women have been called bitch, whore, slut, tramp, drama queen and I am sure you can add more to that list.  Is it degrading?  Hell yeah!  

Men on the other hand really only have a few degrading names, such as dog and asshole.  

Here we are in our universal world, continuing to live in an unequal world.  What I am trying to discuss, is embracing these words if they fit you.  I mean,  being called a “dog” or “asshole” coming from my point of view if not so degrading as being called a “bitch” or “slut”, but let’s get over the power of the word.  If you’re acting like the word is described, why would you get offended?  This is where I am at in my thoughts.  

I mean really.  It is common sense, right?  IF, a female is walking around not being in their happy zone and telling everyone off in a store, yeah, they are acting like a “bitch”.  Embrace it girl!  Yes, your acting it and you have chosen to act as such, so take it like a champ.   If a male is walking around the store with disrespect for everyone in the store by bumping into people without saying sorry, then telling the cashier to “hurry the fuck up because he has to hurry his ass to get to work”.  Then, yeah, I would say in our society language that he has chosen to act like an “asshole” and he should embrace it just like the bitch.  I know many men and women who act like fools and they do admit it.  Yes, admit it, learn from it, apologize and then learn from it!  

On the aspect of our sexual lives, this is when it gets complicated and sad to degrade both genders, but mainly women who take the biggest hit.  But in reality, once again, embrace it.  Shoot, if you are truly living a certain life style, why get offended?  I mean, really?  Yes, I do know that females get hit with hard words, but the behaviors are the same.  Let’s take a look: 

Let’s begin with the lesser degradation.  MEN.  MEN ARE DOGS!!!  What does this even mean???  The real definition is a person regarded as “unpleasant, contemptible, or wicked (used as a term of abuse)”.  So, when we say, “men are dogs” in relation to the fact that they are sleeping with more than one women, this does NOT fit the cake!  I mean, they are not acting “unpleasant”, shoot, it’s the opposite, they are getting a lot of pleasantry!  They are not abusing anyone, they are enjoying it!  So, in essence, this term is actually taken out of context.  But let’s act like we don’t even know the real definition.  In our society, the “WEST”, when we call a man a dog, it means, they are sleeping around and it is a good thing!  They are getting them some!  I see nothing wrong with this!  It’s a good thing!  So, here we go again, if a male is acting like a “dog”, then gosh darn, embrace it!  Do I agree with it?  HELL NO!  But you will not change for anyone, you will do what you want, just take precautions and be careful, you dog! (As I smile and look at your cute face).  BUT, I have found that some men get  flustered when a female makes a comment as such.  “Men are DOGS!”  LESSON:  if you are going to do the deed as such, accept the garbage language and laugh it off! 

On the other side of the coin, I am sure there are many women who sleep around as well.  Of course in our society, we call them whores, sluts, tramps and are thought to be disgusting creatures when they are doing the “dog” thing!  NOW, as we all know, we live in an unequal gendered society.  Fine, instead of arguing and getting heated by being called by all these degrading names, laugh it off and know you are getting yourself some hot love!  

Just like being called a “dog” as a male, if someone calls you a “slut” because you sleep around, embrace it because the real, technical definition is, “a women who has many sexual partners”.  Nothing wrong with that!  Actually, it is a better definition than being a male “dog”.  What is degrading is being called a “whore”, do you know why?  Because the real definition is being a prostitute and selling yourself for money!  NOW, that is down right dirty!!  I guess they finally got us, females!  I say, just turn it around, if someone calls you such, say, “I”m not a whore, but maybe a slut”.  Ha, that still sounds wrong!  But in the real world, if you are a female and you are sleeping around, embrace it girl!  It is what you enjoy doing if your are living that way.  Who am I to judge?  Who are we to judge?  If a man is given a high five because he is a “dog”, then girl, you deserve a high five too!  The tables are actually turned here because it is much easier to be a slut as us females can get it from any man because they are all dogs!  (pun intended)  

Above it all.  I am not a dog, whore, slut or tramp.  I am me and I embrace that.  If I ever do decide (and have in my past) to sleep with more than one man, I have never been offended by being called a “slut”.  I embraced it because that was my action and I made that choice.  And it was actually nice!  

So, enjoy your sexual relationships, embrace the words as they are only words!  Yes, words hurt, BUT if you are acting it, why get upset!  On the bigger hand, let’s try to just ignore the gender inequality of thoughts by all those crazy thinking people out in the world.  




The Mastery of Love

What an amazing read this was! I bought this book a few years ago and read it two times. The first time I read it, I was amazed. The second time I read it, I was enthralled!

This is one of those books that should seriously be taught in schools. It is the basics and not so basics on how to live life coming from a life of “love”.

So, every once in a while when I finish a novel or self-help book, I get bored. I had just finished a novel and needed something to read. It was a work night and I didn’t want to go out to a bookstore, so instead, I looked at my own book shelf.

And there it stood. “The Mastery of Love”, written by, Don Miguel Ruiz. It was calling me in. So, there I sat, re-reading this book for the 3rd time. And this time, wow! I felt like I was living in the book. It was amazing.

Miguel Ruiz, who is a Mexican born native, was not born to be a writer. He actually went to school to be a surgeon and later in life, he was in a car accident that changed his life. At this point, he began learning about his family heritage, which is part of the “Eagle Night Lineage”. Miguel is a “Nagual”, which is a master of this lineage. He has a strong binding family that has lead a life of people of knowledge.

People of knowledge! I wish I was born in that lineage!

So, here are some ideas/ideals/knowledge Miguel discusses in this wonderful book:

*When you live a life of positive or negative energy, it is all created because of YOU! “You create yourself, whatever you believe you are. You are the way you are because that is what you believe about yourself”. That is pretty powerful! If you think your fat and ugly, well you actually believe that about yourself! If you believe you are beautiful, once again, it is because you believe you are. All of our suffering is due to our thinking! Change the way you think of yourself, be positive, you are beautiful, no matter what anyone else thinks, and life will be easier on your soul and heart!

So, once you love yourself inside and out, Miguel says that this is when we will begin attracting people who will respect us. If you don’t like yourself, you will most likely end up being with someone who will abuse you (mentally, emotionally, physically) because you are actually abusing yourself by constantly putting yourself down.

If you love yourself from within, you will not tolerate anyone mistreating you. This is when you will attract someone who will respect you.

So, when you do find that one person you want to spend your time with, how do you handle the ups and downs? All people, whether they are highly spiritual or not, go into valleys every once in a while. When a person is in a valley, they are not in a good mood. I am sure you have seen this. So, how do you handle a situation when your significant other is grouchy, in a bad mood or he/she does not want to hang out with you or have any fun?

Easy, as Miguel discusses:
-Don’t take anything personal (them let handle their garbage on their own)
-You can only handle your half of the relationship. You can never make your other half happy, they have to do it on their own.

Unfortunatly, we are not all graceful in how we handle our emotions, especially when we feel we are being attacked personally. But this is when those emotions turn into negativity and start playing tricks on us.

Miguel discusses that these negative emotions are brought upon ourselves. Now how can this be? You may say, “well, he/she did this to me, so I have every right to feel this way”. Yes, you do have the right to feel those negative feelings, but do you really like those feelings? When you feel these negative feelings, isn’t it hell? Well, it is! You are living in hell, when you feel that way. Heck, I don’t feel like living that way, and when and if I do, yes, it is HELL!

So, how do we get rid of those negative feelings that can creep up on us? That can drive us mad?

Once again:
-don’t take anything personally
-you are not responsible for what is happening around the world or to anyone else. You are only responsible for making yourself happy.
-If you fully love yourself, you will never have to go out and hunt for it!
-It is your your choice to suffer or not.
-Choose to not suffer and live free!

In a nutshell, this book is all about empowering yourself. It is learning how to LOVE yourself from within, so you never have to look for it. If you love yourself, everything around you will be filled with love.

What a beautiful, spiritual and wonderfully written book!

If you would like to get better at relationships-whether it is family, lovers or friends-read this!
If want to learn to love yourself a little more-read this!

I can’t express how much I loved this book. This book is part of my life.


Book Review: “The Mastery of Love”




Glowing fireflies,


Tingling heart,








Love you when your near,


Kisses from your heart,


Caresses only tingle,


Okay, Okay,

I’ll make your day,

Sing our song,

Cuz, guess what?

Im gone, long gone!!






Love, Hate

Time and Time and Time


Time drags as the pain arises,
Arising as my heart pumps,
Pumping as if it shall burst.

Lies, lies are all we are,
Truth has no sense,
The light diminishes,
Darkness creeps further,

Time is still,
Time go fast,
Take me away, far away to the grey.

You took a bite,
A bite full of dust,
We are spread apart now,
Into thin air,

Time, time, please heal the soul,
Darkness arises
There are no light surprises.

I took a handful of your sand,
Your grains creep down my palms,
Further and further they depart.

Time, time, go away,
Take the grains away with your day.


This time does not care,
Go away and leave me bare!


Take it with you,
All moments of tears.



Time go faster as I am drenched….
Time go faster as I am crushed….
Time go faster as I am ambushed…..
Time go faster as I am flushed…..

Time go!
Time leave!
Time be gone!

I’ll fly to the sky!


Ha! I figured it out!  I really did!

Your too good for me!

Your sweet.

Your kind.

Your giving.

Your loving.

You have been there for me through thick and thin!

Gosh, I figured it out!

You make me laugh.

You make me smile.

I love your company

and that’s not a tale!

Gosh, Darn, I really, finally, figured it out~

You cared for me,

You loved me unconditionally,

You bathed me when I needed it without asking any questions.

I would grow old with you,

but I fear you.

I hate you,

Yet I love it when I’m near it.

I really do love you!

I do!

But I’m all messed up.

I can’t think.

I’m  in pain.

Your too good!

I should just leave you alone!

You deserve so much better!

I can’t give you anything,

I can’t love you,

I can’t be your man,

I just can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I just can’t.


I should be sorry,

but I have too much pride.

I would love you and marry you and take care of you,

But, I’m messed up.  I’m all messed up.


No…go away. Oh,  here is my chance.  My stupid brother in-law offended you.  I’m really sorry.

I should have said something.  YEAH, YOU SHOULD HAVE!.  But I know you can do better.

This is my chance.   My chance to let you fly.  I wanted to hold on to you.  I did hold on to you.

You were great.  You were my BFF.  But, I’m sorry, I gotta let you go.

You deserve more.

I can’t give it to you.

I can’t love you.

I don’t even love myself.


I’m too stubborn.

I’m avoiding you.’

I love you, but fly….

You are such a good person….I don’t deserve you!









Everyone has a journey.  Our journey’s are what makes us.  They teach us a lesson or we teach someone else a lesson.

But, sometimes, we wonder, why, why, oh why, am I going through this path?  Why?

But, believing in faith, hope and our journey’s, there is always a point to everything.

I sit and breath.

I meditate.

I ask the powers of the universe, why I was put in that situation?

I can walk away, breath and know that it was a lesson.

I learned patience.

I learned to give out my kindness with nothing in return.

It was hard.

It was a challeng and now that it is over, I am grateful for the lesson, yet my heart hurts from the feeling of being taken advantage of.

Once again, I breath.  I meditate.  I talk to the powers of the universe.

My soul is struggling with the fact that I am hurt.

My heart hurts from feeling used.

My heart hurts as my little bird took my kindness for granted.

I feel like my bird just cannot see the beauty of life, yet it puts negative thoughts in my precious mind from my actions.

If you tell your bird to fly, it will.

If you tell your bird to stay by my side, it will.

If you tell your bird, you don’t care, they will believe it.

But on the otherside of the plane, here I am.

Sitting and Waiting.

Believing that my journey is meant to be where it is.

I fought it.  I accepted it.

But there was always a clump of clay in my tum wondering why, why, why?

Why does it make me feel unappreciated and more importantly, why did I put myself in that negative situation?

I hoped. I hoped. I hoped.

I thought my bird would see that I was going to stick with it no matter what.

I gave. I gave. I gave.

He took. He took. He took.

And I dried  up.

Did I get anything in return?  No.

I breathed, because the laws of the universe are that, if you give, one day you will get your positive back in return.

I did not get my return today or yesterday.

I do know that my Karma is good.

I gave and hopefully one day I will get something back in full force.

I just have to have faith that all of this was meant to be on my past year journey.

I really cared for my sweet bird.  I will miss its smiles and laughs.  I will miss it’s fluffy wings.

But my bird and I were not on the same page.

I wanted it to be with me and me only.  It supposidly said it was, but when my bird could not commit, that is hard to believe.

Despite my questioning, I could not twiddle my thumbs, waste my time and just wait around.

As a wise lady once told me, “sometimes you have to let go of what you have, so something better will come around”

this is what I did…..

Today, I say good-bye to what could have been…….

Good-Bye to feeling used…

Good-Bye to giving away my kindness….

I am a bigger person than to sit around and play your Non-Exclusive Ways.

I hope and pray  your path is safe.

I wanted to be there for you.

But here we are at the end of the road.

It is bitter sweet.

Happiness for being away from that “used” feeling….

Sadness for the loss of my little bird ❤