My Love




Life is Growth


Life is growth. Growth is life. No matter what is ahead of us, we still grow. We grow in heat. We grow in cold. We grow with a beat. We grow when bold. We grow with wheat. We grow when told. We grow in feet. We grow when sold. Regardless of our road, be it an animal, plant, flower or being, we grow, never be un-told.



To my lover, my best friend, my future hubby ❤



The Art of Life






images (1)

He weeps at his own internal mess.

Internal dysfunction or plain pain of his life demis.

Paranoia cries with imaginary. He told it to leave, but it lingers.

Monsters eat at his brain, nibbling until his eyes rest.

Tears of pain burn his cheeks. His soul is on fire. No desires.

Eyes of worry, sights of flying clouds. When will it end?

Alone. Internally alone. Drugs. He wants drugs. Pain go away.

Branches. He wants them to take him. Puncture him.

Physical pain will settle his mind.

Paranoia. Flying gypsies. Crawling whispers flowing up to his nostrils.

His heart is full of love. His soul is full of fluttering butterflies.

Can’t escape.

Where is the laughter? Internal laughter.

Outer layers are fake.


One sip of his whiskey, one step out of the dark, the warm sun glitters his day.

8 hours is his only life. He is awake. He is aware.

Until he goes back into his dark cave.






Anxiety Delights


imagesSounds of life, social laughs, grunts of disappointment, annoying remarks.

There he is succumbed by his own eye flickering.  Sounds of life swirl into his ears drums as they puncture his senses. Overload.

He ignores the pain as yellow discharge swooshes out of his ears in an attempt to deal with the laughter.

Sights of life, kids dancing, couples kissing, family talking.

Beauty. He embraces it. He loves it yet the pumping blood in his body freezes his movement. He is frozen in time wanting to dance with laughter yet he is glued down.

He speaks in tongues, he has on his mask of delight.

Neighbors will never know the anxiety displayed in every cell of his body.





Raw Love


Love is raw, deep and full of



Love at the bottom of the barrel is raw

It is beauty and the beast mixed into one

It is heaven and hell at the same time


Love is not butterflies in your stomach

it is not googly eyes on your mate

it is not apple and spice and everything nice!


Love at the bottom of the barrel is deep

it is a mix of good with the bad

it is calm with a touch of intense


Love is not an act of neediness

it is not jealousy and fear

it is not neediness or helplessness


Love at the bottom of the barrel are aspirations

it is a pen to paper of goals

it is a cloud full of dreams


Love is not what you think of love

Love is a 24-hour job you hate to love

Love is raw, deep and full of






The Crazy to my Sanity


He is the apple to my sauce

the chocolate to my milk

the cheese to the crackers


He is the cracks from the quake

the flood from the rainfall

the lightning from the storm


He is the crazy in my sanity

The sanity to my crazy

the sanity in our craze


My plate would be

bare without my

hungry tummy


My cup would be

empty without my

wine and dine


We would be obsolete

without honey and bee’s

will you please…






Parasite Mind….



I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Your mind can be your worse enemy”.

I sit here re-writing this idea. I sit here re-thinking this idea. This idea is easily forgotten in our chaotic lives.

An author who really stands out to me in regards to this topic is Don Miguel Ruiz.  He writes spiritual books on releasing negative thinking to the positive .  In his Native Mexican tribe, they say the mind is programmed by our society.  We are born a blank slate.

So, the main question is, how did we begin all these negative thoughts?  How did our humanity begin to talk negatively to ourselves?


In a judgmental society, he says our minds are a “parasite” and we must fight it off.  But this is not realized until we are conscious.  We need to wake up!  Wake up to reality.  Wake up to our own well being!  Wake up to truth!

Television, radio and the internet tell us we cannot be happy unless we have this or that.  Our parents, guardians, caretakers and teachers may speak to us using negative comments.  These negative words flow into our minds and infect our minds exactly like a parasite (Don Miguel Ruiz).

When someone you look up to says, “try harder”, “be better”, “why can’t you do it”, what do you think happens to that blank slate of ours as we grow up?  You got it right, it taints the mind into thinking that you can’t do things right.  Then comes a commercial that says, “if you want to get it right…buy (blank)”.  There you have it.  It’s very simple.  Simple if you are fully aware of this.  Sadly, the majority of humans are not.

I’m tired of it.

I’m personally tired of my own negative thoughts and ideas.  But, I am ever so grateful that I am able to catch myself and redirect my own thoughts.  But it is damn hard!  But I see other people who cannot stop it!  It’s so sad!

This is exactly why I do not watch much T.V. The commercials will bring you down to the ground.

I hope you can bring a positive conscious mindset to your lives.  Stop reading about all the things you need to be happy.  Stop watching commercials that tell you to buy certain things, so you’ll be happy.

Just stop!

Tell yourself you can do it!  Love yourself.  Most importantly, watch what you say to the young ones.