It is a new year. New beginnings. A new start.
BUT IS IT REALLY?
I come to the end of every year in the same situation and I feel like a lot of people do as well.
Here comes December and we are all grateful for the year to end.
We say bye to all of our regrets, hatred, and negative feelings.
We say bye to all of our baggage.
But why can’t we do it any other time? It baffles me.
I am always trying to become a better person regardless if it is the end of the year or not.
But, it is our imaginative world that let’s us believe that beginning January 1st, we can be cleansed of all faults.
I cleansed. I used my imaginative world and went with the flow.
I said good-bye to all who have hurt me and luckily that was taken care of before December.
I said good-bye to my ways of over eating and indulging in delicious chocolates. Oh how I will miss you.
I said good-bye to impatience and hello to that thing called PATIENCE.
2011 was not the best year for me, but it was not the worst.
In 2011 I welcomed:
- My Maya Star who is now 7 months old
- My sunshine who is still in my life with full vengeance
- A pre-pre teen. My 9-year-old who had overstepped her childish ways
- A more powerful stance in life: taking on two children as a single mother
And I have to say, those are the things that have made me a stronger and better person today. Now, did it take me a new year to make these changes and outlooks on life? No. Like I said, I work on myself daily. But in some weird, mystical way, January 1st always seems to officially take them away.
- As I overcame a lot of stress and mishaps in 2011, I feel like I have climbed over that mountain, I reached the top. Being at the top of the mountain was the hardest, but I took one breath at a time. I took one step at a time. One blink at a time. And guess what? I overcame it. I laid in the hospital bed alone. I did not have him there. The father of my baby did not want to have anything to do with me or the baby. I thought at the moment, how was I going to get through it. I did it! It is the proudest moment of my life. I always tell people, I am not a “women” because there is no “man” in my life to help me, but I am a “womyn” because I can do it by myself. And at the top of the mountain, it actually felt good. I brought life into this world rather than diminish it. I have become on overall stronger person because of my situation.
And I am now on the other side of the mountain. 2012 is strong, hopeful and most importantly lovely.
I smile when I wake up.
I laugh when I see my daughters laugh.
I blink and don’t have to blink again because today, right now, 2012 is a blessing.
Happy New Year to me. Happy New Year to You. And Happy New Year to New Beginnings.